Open Post on the Lonliness of the Magical/Esoteric Path

[causticus]

General discussion thread for how to deal with the loneliness issues that tend to creep up as one advances further down this path. The usual etiquette of Ecosphian discussions apply here.

Comments

[lp9]

Wow, this is perfect timing. Anyone have insights on dealing with loneliness when you have a spouse who is not currently on the same path?

[causticus]

Welcome!

No unfortunately don't have experience with that, as I have been single ever since I've gotten into occultism and spirituality. The last few girlfriends I had were very materially-inclined and I expect most future ones would probably be that unless I went out of my way to look for a woman also on the path; though that might be looking for a needle in a haystack, if I'm to invoke a tired cliche.

[the_copper_dragon]

Are they of another faith? How so they feel about your beliefs? My fiance is getting into Christianity, so the best way I'm able to handle it is listen to share opinions and come to a certain understanding. It sucks because it's such a long process in certain things, and you so badly want to say something, you want to steer and control them even, but you literally cant.

[lp9]

My husband and I have been together a long time (married over 15 years, together about 20). He is nominally Christian and I have in the past few years migrated to a polytheistic view. Religion, per se, is not so much the cause of loneliness, but it's more feeling like I have to keep my more esoteric beliefs to myself. The vaccine issue is what's bringing this to the fore. While he is somewhat open and understanding when I indicate my divination is guiding me to a certain decision, I can't push it too far or it starts to cause tension. And I certainly couldn't say something like "the vaccine push might be coming from demons." It's just a step too far. So I find that I am censoring myself more and more.

[the_copper_dragon]

That's actually kinda my situation but we've only been together 4 years and got engaged Mothers day. I can talk to my fiance about a couple of things. For example, He mentioned something along the lines of not serving two masters, God or Mammon of which I told him about the pentagram and the most basic rundown I could give him with my experience and knowledge on the two orientations. We ended up having a discussion on the questionable ethics and energy of people selling stuff or hitting up others for stuff at church.

But aside from those convos I've wanted to teach him, tell him what I've learned, but of course he's a late bloomer to the christian faith and wants to read and study the Bible...nothing wrong with that, in fact I heartily encourage it, but the main concern is the culty aspect of Christianity I want to steer him away from.

[jprussell]

I'm fairly new to a lot of this stuff, and my wife is mostly in the "spiritual but not religious" camp. We've also been together a pretty long time (married almost 11 years, together ~14). She has expressed some worry that my beliefs might take me in directions she's not going, but so far I've stressed that a lot of what I'm getting out of my prayer and meditation lines up pretty squarely with "be a better husband and father", and I've been able to demonstrate that to some degree, so that's taken away some of the fear/discomfort.

As for the more esoteric stuff, she has a cultural/psychological interest in that kind of thing (she's a writer and she is interested in it as story fodder, at least), and I've had the same since long before taking it seriously, so we can at least talk about things on that level (for example, a recent show we were watching had a Neoplatonist concept, which she recognized from Emerson, and I recognized from JMG). I've mentioned the divination, but I just call my daily ~45 minutes of ritual, meditation, and divination my "meditation".

Of course, I've also had lots of practice focusing on what we do have in common and what beliefs we do share while letting differences be different, as we have fairly different political outlooks. I suppose that would be the general thought behind what has worked so far (and still pretty new at this!) - focusing on the love and life we share while letting other parts of ourselves be different, even to the point of disagreement. It's not without occasional friction, but seems to be working for us.

I wish you and your husband good luck!

[lp9]

Thank you for your thoughts. That's very good advice which I will try to implement.

I also have my 45-minute "meditation" every night. :) My husband and I have so much in common and have been on the same page for so long that this is a new situation. And when my spiritual practices take us to different political places--and so much is political these days--it makes my husband very uncomfortable.